When the most revered occasion becomes a burden

I am an Indian, living in the National Capital Region, Uttar Pradesh's urban city of Ghaziabad. It's a planned, developed urban area with high-rise buildings, a Habitat Center, sprawling malls, and other modern, urban infrastructures. The city has developed over the years, in leaps and bounds. But, sadly its people's mentality still has a long way to go. It is not a one-off incident that triggered this chain of thought in me. As we know, the pious occasion of Navratri is underway. A nine-day festival celebrating the symbolism of courage and valor of Goddess Durga. The festival in North India is marked by observing fasts for 9 days and/or following strictly vegetarian diet or by eating fruits. The vegetarian diet also excludes consumption of root vegetables like onion, garlic and other such items. It is like a cleansing ritual which is beneficial for our health, if done under proper guidance.
Neither I observe fasts during such festivals, nor do I feel guilty about not following the rituals. 
I thought, naively, now that we are in the year 2016, and living in one of the most tolerant countries in the world (no pun intended;) Eating my choice of food won't be an issue. I was wrong. For my breakfast, I ventured out to get eggs. Little did i know, that this beautiful morning will turn bitter for me. 
I walked into 3 shops and asked them to pack me a dozen eggs. To my surprise and amusement, I kept getting curt dismissals. These shopkeepers were not even uttering the word 'अंडा,' just gesticulating at me by swinging their heads from side to side. I thought, Ok! What the hell, not a big deal. I will try my luck in other shops. But, I had no idea that the situation I was getting myself into, was not going to be funny. I was also taken aback by the sheer lack of civility among these people. This miniature version of a super store, just around the corner was open. I walked in and feebly asked a man at the counter to pack me a dozen eggs. The man was pre-occupied and so, didn't listen to me properly and asked again what I wanted. This time in a more firm and loud voice I said pack me a dozen eggs and a packet of bread to go with. The customers in the store and the shopkeeper turned and looked at me in disgust. The counter guy said in an exasperated tone,
नवरात्रे चल रहे हैं मैडम, हम अंडे क्यों रखेंगे?!"
"Navratri is underway, how can we keep eggs?"
 This annoyed me a lot. I reverted by saying that not everyone observes fast and follows vegetarian diet during Navratri. So how does it matter, and you're running a shop, not a religious house. To which a fellow customer standing among others walks towards me and inquires curiously,
"आप हिन्दू है या कुछ और?"
 "Are you a Hindu or something else?"
 This is it! I lost my cool then & there. Never in my lifetime up until then, I had to wear a badge of my religion. And now, I have to answer these silly questions of moronic few. I snapped back at that interfering prick,
"आप को क्या करना है इससे?!"
 "What does it concern you?!"
By now I wanted to get out of that store, but not without giving them a piece of my mind. The shop owner then sensing the tension said in a subdued tone,
"हमारे पास अभी अंडे नहीं है मैडम।"
 "We don't have eggs."
 I was visibly irritated. Just before walking out, I said to the owner, that he should put up a signboard at the entrance, stating that 'Only vegetarians and Hindus are allowed inside the shop during Navratras,' and stormed out of the shop. The incident left me thinking about the non-Hindus & Hindus as well, who wish to eat non-vegetarian food, during such festivals, in the confines of their homes. Is there supposed to be a higher authority, which would hand out permission slips to allow people from different faiths to eat foods of their choice. We don't need such high-handedness to make our lives even more difficult than it is.
I don't consider myself belonging to any particular religion. The statement might sound of a confused mind. But, I don't want to ascribe to a particular line of thought and constrict the scope and reach of my life. Religion is a relative choice. And, I am not making a vague statement here. I believe in this thought. I want to be part of a larger ecosystem which values humanity. Cliche, right?!
Religion is a catalyst, which brings discipline in one's life. And, no offence to anybody who follows rituals in order to invoke positivity and bliss in their lives. But, spiritualism is diametrically opposite to religion. Rituals do not guarantee spiritual elevation. Your deeds and actions decide the goodness in you. Although, following rituals might provide a sense of hope. But that is all there is to it.
  • I don't believe in observing fasts.
  • I don't believe in donating money to temples/churches/masjid/dargah/or any other religious house.
  • I don't believe in chanting a certain mantra, hymn,etc, a certain number of times, to attain prosperity in life.
  • I don't believe in refraining myself from eating certain food items on particular days.
  • I don't believe in bargaining with the Almighty.
I believe that my god is not a small person with smaller mind and heart. It wouldn't get enraged, because I didn't observe any fasts,or, ate chicken on a Tuesday or Thursday. I know my god cannot be, and is not, a sadistic, who would enjoy while I inflict pain upon my body. I refuse to believe those mythical tales. My religion is my way of life. The decisions I take in my day-to-day life, are my rituals. These rituals are in constant state of change. I might take decisions, which are right, wrong, silly, practical, impractical, great or best! But, they would be mine. I don't enforce my beliefs on to you. In return, I expect, and rightly so, not to be policed and lectured to fall in line, in accordance with your religious beliefs. It's not about the unavailability of eggs, that is bothering me. What infuriates me is that these small acts of transgression, and enforcing indirectly a particular set of beliefs on non-conforming populace, creates divide. 
This was never the case earlier, but I see, read and experience such hard-line stand taken in the past two years. That says a lot about the shift (definitely not in a positive direction) in our tolerance levels. Creating an environment where people are not free to choose what they want to eat, wear, think or express is a highly combustible scenario.

PS: I am not going to disclose my religion. Read this piece as a manifestation of a frustrated Indian. 







When the most revered occasion becomes a burden

I am an Indian, living in the National Capital Region, Uttar Pradesh's urban city of Ghaziabad. It's a planned, developed urban area with high-rise buildings, a Habitat Center, sprawling malls, and other modern, urban infrastructures. The city has developed over the years, in leaps and bounds. But, sadly its people's mentality still has a long way to go. It is not a one-off incident that triggered this chain of thought in me. As we know, the pious occasion of Navratri is underway. A nine-day festival celebrating the symbolism of courage and valor of Goddess Durga. The festival in North India is marked by observing fasts for 9 days and/or following strictly vegetarian diet or by eating fruits. The vegetarian diet also excludes consumption of root vegetables like onion, garlic and other such items. It is like a cleansing ritual which is beneficial for our health, if done under proper guidance.
Neither I observe fasts during such festivals, nor do I feel guilty about not following the rituals. 
I thought, naively, now that we are in the year 2016, and living in one of the most tolerant countries in the world (no pun intended;) Eating my choice of food won't be an issue. I was wrong. For my breakfast, I ventured out to get eggs. Little did i know, that this beautiful morning will turn bitter for me. 
I walked into 3 shops and asked them to pack me a dozen eggs. To my surprise and amusement, I kept getting curt dismissals. These shopkeepers were not even uttering the word 'अंडा,' just gesticulating at me by swinging their heads from side to side. I thought, Ok! What the hell, not a big deal. I will try my luck in other shops. But, I had no idea that the situation I was getting myself into, was not going to be funny. I was also taken aback by the sheer lack of civility among these people. This miniature version of a super store, just around the corner was open. I walked in and feebly asked a man at the counter to pack me a dozen eggs. The man was pre-occupied and so, didn't listen to me properly and asked again what I wanted. This time in a more firm and loud voice I said pack me a dozen eggs and a packet of bread to go with. The customers in the store and the shopkeeper turned  and looked at me in disgust. The counter guy said in an exasperated tone,
नवरात्रे चल रहे हैं मैडम, हम अंडे क्यों रखेंगे?!"
"Navratri is underway, how can we keep eggs?"
  
This annoyed me a lot. I reverted by saying that not everyone observes fast and follows vegetarian diet during Navratri. So how does it matter, and you're running a shop, not a religious house. To which a fellow customer standing among others walks towards me and inquires curiously,
"आप हिन्दू है या कुछ और?"
 "Are you a Hindu or something else?"

This is it! I lost my cool then & there. Never in my lifetime up until then, I had to wear a badge of my religion. And now, I have to answer these silly questions of moronic few. I snapped back at that interfering prick,
"आप को क्या करना है इससे?!"
 "What does it concern you?!"
By now I wanted to get out of that store, but not without giving them a piece of my mind. The shop owner then sensing the tension said in a subdued tone,
"हमारे पास अभी अंडे नहीं है मैडम।"
 "We don't have eggs."
I was visibly irritated. Just before walking out, I said to the owner, that he should put up a signboard at the entrance, stating that 'Only vegetarians and Hindus are allowed inside the shop during Navratras,' and stormed out of the shop. The incident left me thinking about the non-Hindus & Hindus as well, who wish to eat non-vegetarian food, during such festivals, in the confines of their homes. Is there supposed to be a higher authority, which would hand out permission slips to allow people from different faiths to eat foods of their choice. We don't need such high-handedness to make our lives even more difficult than it is.

I don't consider myself belonging to any particular religion. The statement might sound of a confused mind. But, I don't want to ascribe to a particular line of thought and constrict the scope and reach of my life. Religion is a relative choice. And, I am not making a vague statement here. I believe in this thought. I want to be part of a larger ecosystem which values humanity. Cliche, right?!
Religion is a catalyst, which brings discipline in one's life. And, no offence to anybody who follows rituals in order to invoke positivity and bliss in their lives. But, spiritualism is diametrically opposite to religion. Rituals do not guarantee spiritual elevation. Your deeds and actions decide the goodness in you. Although, following rituals might provide a sense of hope. But that is all there is to it.
  • I don't believe in observing fasts.
  • I don't believe in donating money to temples/churches/masjid/dargah/or any other religious house.
  • I don't believe in chanting a certain mantra, hymn,etc, a certain number of times, to attain prosperity in life.
  • I don't believe in refraining myself from eating certain food items on particular days.
  • I don't believe in bargaining with the Almighty.
I believe that my god is not a small person with smaller mind and heart. It wouldn't get enraged, because I didn't observe any fasts,or, ate chicken on a Tuesday or Thursday. I know my god cannot be, and is not, a sadistic, who would enjoy while I inflict pain upon my body. I refuse to believe those mythical tales. My religion is my way of life. The decisions I take in my day-to-day life, are my rituals. These rituals are in constant state of change. I might take decisions, which are right, wrong, silly, practical, impractical, great or best! But, they would be mine. I don't enforce my beliefs on to you. In return, I expect, and rightly so, not to be policed and lectured to fall in line, in accordance with your religious beliefs. It's not about the unavailability of eggs, that is bothering me. What infuriates me is that these small acts of transgression, and enforcing indirectly a particular set of beliefs on non-conforming populace, creates divide. 
This was never the case earlier, but I see, read and experience such hard-line stand taken in the past two years. That says a lot about the shift (definitely not in a positive direction) in our tolerance levels. Creating an environment where people are not free to choose what they want to eat, wear, think or express is a highly combustible scenario.

PS: I am not going to disclose my religion. Read this piece as a manifestation of a frustrated Indian. 






Salman KhanSalman during the promotions of 'Sultan'


Bhai is not exactly known for being articulate, neither as a descent actor. Salman Khan, unarguably the biggest and the most bankable superstar at present, is hailed as the ultimate savior. Messiah for the new actors and faded starlets (most of them who do not possess any talent, neither work towards acquiring it!) who in my opinion, love to cash in on nepotism and brown-nosing. The Godfather of strugglers, the one’s he fancies, not everyone. Everybody wants to be a part of Bhai’s inner circle. It’s no news that Salman Khan’s infamous rape analogy had attracted a widespread outrage. But why were we surprised or even offended for that matter.

The man is notorious for pulping his past girlfriends, running over poor people while driving drunken, killing an endangered black buck, and threatening fellow artists if they don’t please his whims and fancies. Salman is known for his mercurial display of rage. But his well-oiled PR machinery creates an image of a rather misunderstood, misinterpreted, golden-hearted bear, who just wants to live his life by helping others. During the peak of his romp with life, allegations of harassing his then girlfriend, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and her family, also the reported underworld links, and the vicious of them all, the 2002 Hit-and-Run case, gathered like a black cloud over his stardom. He was nicknamed the ‘Bad Boy’ of Bollywood, but then steadily there were murmurs of his kind heart and the supposed clandestine charities. Even a child could make out that there was (still is) a deliberate attempt by his battery of PR soldiers to salvage Khan’s drowning career. His negative image of a lotharios, abusive, mercurial man-child added to his questionable star status. It would be an understatement to say that they did a fantastic job with him.

Cut to present, people throng multiplexes with packed shows and shower their love and admiration for his movies, may be because they naively believe in all his “charitable deeds.” I am not taking away anything from him. He might be a King in the terms of charities and may be he's a genuine, sensitive, human being. Although, playing that card every time to excuse him of his appalling behavior, like running over a poor man with a car in a drunken state, and then fighting tooth and nail to prove his innocence, doesn’t exactly serve the purpose of being human.

The testimony of a person’s goodness is in holding on to his/her sanity, patience, kindness and the most debatable of them all, morality, even in the most adverse situations. There’s nothing like absolute morality, and to err is human. But it isn’t a matter of addition and subtraction. Since I killed a man, I would compensate the wrong done by handing out a few goodies to the poor and needy. Sorry, it doesn’t even out like that.

Coming back to his horrible analogy, comparing himself to a “rape victim” (specifically a woman) while describing his taxing shooting schedule in the now Blockbuster hit Sultan, while promoting the film at a press conference, was insensitive to say the least.

Verbatim of Salman Khan’s rape remark: ‘When I used to walk out of that ring, it used to be actually like a raped woman walking out….I don’t think I should have (pauses). It feels like the most difficult….I couldn’t take steps. I couldn’t take steps.’
In the same interview, Khan said he was able to quit every "vice" - like cigarettes, alcohol and coffee - except women.

The above lines clearly indicate Salman considers rape only as an act of physical trauma, nothing more. That’s the worst way of trivializing an abhorrent crime like rape. Secondly, he feels only a woman can be raped.  The statements give a sneak peek into his misogynistic mindset and as a man he considers himself privileged, powerful and authoritative. The moment he compares himself to a “raped woman” he feels weak, ashamed and at loss. But let’s be fair to this man, it’s not like we are not guilty of such insensitive display of behavior. Rape jokes are not a new phenomenon. Our beloved ‘Thinking Khan’ aka Mr. Aamir Khan’s 3 Idiots, which is considered one of the path breaking movies of our time, had a rape joke.

We all laughed our hearts out at Chatur’s speech debacle. We didn’t take stand then, neither did we take offence to that rape joke. I do realize my mistake after Khan’s rape analogy and accept that rape culture persists in our society. Either we slut-shame or body-shame a woman, remind her of her place and her domestic responsibilities, and reprimand her for being “too ambitious”, which is basically code for being selfish. In an unintentional or may be an intentional manner we contribute to this mindset. These statements can either be taken with a pinch of salt or deliberated upon and reflect on ourselves.

Fanaticism is a dangerous path. Idolizing a person or a thought process, leads to an overdrive of blind following. It is hard not to judge, when a superstar openly subjugates women and terms them as one of the vices. It is indeed alarming that his fans blindly follow him, cheer him, and defend him for such mentality and grotesque display of masochistic behavior.

When did we become this society, which worships movie stars like Salman Khan and hails them as national icons. It is high time we start introspecting, whether we are choosing wrong persons to be our heroes. Admiring a favorite movie actor/actress is understandable, but defending their actions no matter how atrocious or incorrigible, is downright stupidity. This only fills our hearts with hatred and leaves no room for reasoning. Cyber bullies are just that bunch of people who aim at going on a PR overdrive and end up translating the entrapment of virtual world into our reality. Therefore we must choose our heroes wisely.

Heroes don’t have to be rich, mighty and spoilt. They can also be humble, grounded and wise.


Salman Khan's Verbatim Source: Indian Express.



My book bucket list




1) Tinkle digest (All of the editions) - Dil toh bacha hai ji ;P 


2) Reader's Digest- My dad literally sat through the articles which i had to read out loud..phew!!

3) ‘Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) My summer vacation in 97' at my ancestral home in Aska,Orissa, India, television was a luxury item which my grandpa despised a lot. Alice became my best friend then!!


4)’ Letters from a Father to His Daughter’ The 1 Rupee book, which I so cherish given to me by my Grandfather.


 5) Train to Pakistan by Khushwant Singh's piece on the account of events that took place during partition.

6) ‘Sex scotch and scholarships’ again Khushwant's experiments with life in general and how damn courageous this man was.

7) From Sex to Super consciousness by Osho is a must read for everyone, and please it isn't an erotica!

8) Not without my Daughter by Betty Mahmoody an inspiring figure of grit & determination and Yes you don't want to mess with a MOM.


9) The Boy in the Striped Pajamas ‪#‎Hitler a figure of tyranny. Amazing, how even in the face of hatred, adversity and uncertainty children hold onto their innocence.

10) I Dare: Kiran Bedi. Biography of an Iron Lady.

11) Interpreter of Maladies Jhumpa Lahiri sometimes you want to read fictions and her writings are the best.


 12) Songs of Blood and Sword by Fatima Bhutto, my heart goes out to the most politically powerful yet tragic family which falls prey to Pakistan's ruthless power play. A must read!




There's more to come, keep waiting!!







 Haider : Movie Review







Haider is by far the most, brilliant film adaptation of Shakespeare's ‪#Hamlet‬ by Vishal Bhardwaj. The setting and timeline of ‪ Kashmir‬ insurgency during 90s has been interwoven with utmost cinematic brilliance with the plot of Hamlet. Acting has been taken care of, by talented actors. But Tabu is the real delight here with Shahid giving the best ever performance of his career. Would love to watch #Haider, again

Book Review

Coming soon readers :)

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